Thursday, January 22, 2015

Fun with Phobias

Bugs.

Bugs? Yes bugs. As you are probably aware, there are thousands of people who suffer from arachnophobia, or a crippling “fear” of spiders. I put fear in quotation marks not because I doubt its validity, but because I know that phobias are more complicated than simple fear and revulsion. Someone who is afraid of or repulsed by spiders may jump or curse or swing wildly with a newspaper (or all three) when they meet one of the eight-legged critters. Someone who suffers from true arachnophobia, though, might freeze, burst into tears, or have a full on panic attack. They might not be able to look at cartoon images of spiders, or even hear the name. There are hundreds of phobias out there, so let’s choose another example: heights. A lot of people have a healthy trepidation of high-up places. But maybe you have a friend who keeps far away from railings, trembles while crossing bridges, and called in sick for your birthday party at the indoor rock-climbing place.

The point I’m trying to get at is that phobias can cause symptoms that may inconvenience, embarrass, or even endanger those people who suffer from them. I’m not going to get into the science or psychology of what causes them, but the information is out there if you’re interested (you can start your reading here). Friends and family may suggest that their loved one “snap out of” or “get over” the phobia. It’s not that simple. I don’t even know if there are medicines to help. From the experts I’ve talked to, it seems that the two accepted treatments are exposure therapy and desensitization therapy, both of which make the patient confront their phobia: either quickly or in gradual doses.

I struggle with a few phobias. One was, very specifically, of Pennywise the Clown from the miniseries based on Stephen King’s IT. I’ll get to the story of why I say “was” in a little bit. Another is a pretty rough struggle with heights. Ladders, steep stairwells, bridges, railings in the mall, bicycles…anything that takes me more than a few inches off the ground is fair game (with the important exceptions of airplanes and roller coasters). Living in Nepal has been helping with this one immensely. The third is very random: centipedes. God, I hate that word. I’ll use the Nepali word, khajuro. More on this later.

My Pennywise phobia is a slowly fading memory, and credit for this goes to my senior year roommates. You see, I had reached the point where Pennywise was appearing regularly in my nightmares. I couldn’t see anything red and white out of the corner of my eye without my heart skipping a beat. And if I accidentally saw a picture on the internet? I’d end up in tears.
Now, no one can deny that Pennywise is a pretty freaky character: it’s a clown that eats children. A shapeshifting clown, that takes on the form of its victims worst fear, and then eats them. For some reason, the combined impression from the book and miniseries festered in my brain.

Well, one day, I asked my roommates for help. I’m a big fan of the Nostalgia Critic, and I knew he had a review of IT that was supposed to be pretty funny. So I asked my roommates to watch it with me, and to make sure that I didn’t close my eyes whenever it showed clips of the damn clown. And we did it, after they made sure I had a glass of wine. But they had a second part that they added to my plan. Both of them are fans of Rocky Horror Picture Show, which I had never seen. They surmised that if I watched Tim Curry dance around in dress, with good friends and good pizza, I could never be afraid of him in clown makeup again.

They were right.

Khajuro have been a harder to beat. For many years, I couldn’t even bear to read, speak, or hear their English name. I still don’t like it, but I’ve gotten past that particular hurdle. Until then, my roommates and friends would run interference for me: telling people not to say the word, closing tabs on my computer if a random article included a picture of one, and even making sure I didn’t look at picture of Dungons & Dragons monsters with too many legs. One of my roommates, a super-talented art major, even tried a form of art therapy with me one night when she really needed to be sleeping.

Seems pretty extreme, I know, but the precautions kept me from curling up into a silently weeping ball—something I had no control over. Not going to lie, but I definitely felt embarrassed by my reactions, and I felt even more bad because I perceived myself as a burden to my friends. Well, there’s a lot to be said about embarrassment and guilt, but this isn’t the time for discussing it. Just remember that the closer you get to conquering your phobia, the less you’ll experience those feelings.

There’s not an end to the khajuro story yet (just like the bug, it goes on and on and on...ugh). But there are lessons to be gained from it. In my experience, suffering from a phobia is a mental illness that benefits more than most from external influence. While depression, for example, is mainly an internal struggle, phobias are directly triggered from outside your mind. Maybe that’s why friendly support is so effective. It’s like telling your brain: “Hey, these people I love and trust aren’t freaking out. Why am I? Look how calm they are.” Over time, that idea builds up, and if you combine it with desensitization therapy, either with a professional or by yourself, you might find your phobia becoming less and less extreme.

A few final words of advice. If you suffer from a phobia of an animal or bug, knowledge is power. If you can’t bear to look at pictures or photographs of your phobia-foe (like me), did you know that you can turn off images on Google Chrome? That way, you can surf Wikipedia and the internet to your heart’s content. Also, talk to people who are experts about whatever you’re phobic of. The other day, while doing research on khajuro, I came across a great website dedicated to creepy-crawlies by a man who not only likes them, but who knows a lot about them (website is here). The website had a comment section, and I commented on an old article about an escaped giant khajuro. I was overjoyed when I got a kind response that included a link to an article about (guess what?) creepy-crawly phobias! (read it here)

So talk to experts, and talk to your friends and family. Explain phobias to them, and ask them for help if you think they can give it. Don’t forget to thank them. And if you find yourself on the path to recovery, make sure you reach out to people who are still struggling.

Feel free to contact me if you have any questions or need some advice. And remember, life is beautiful!

Monday, October 13, 2014

Dreams

Please forgive me for updating this blog as infrequently as I do. My life in Nepal is a bit hectic, and WiFi is not always easy to come by, but more importantly, when I write a post here, I want it to mean something. 

Today I have a brief, seemingly generic message for you: follow your dreams. In the song "Grey Street," Dave Matthews sings: "Take what you can from your dreams, make them real as anything. That will take the work out of the courage." While I have a dear attachment to this song, and you may see it referenced again, that particular line has always struck me. What does he mean, "take the work out of the courage?" I puzzled over it for a long time.

The thing about dreams is that they are unique to you. Sure, people share similar types of dreams: to perform in the Broadway stage, for example, or to raise a family. But just because these dreams are similar does not mean they are the same. Only you can see the world the way you do; you are the only audience to the dreams inside your head, whether they come in sleep or wishful thinking. And since you are the only person who knows those dreams, you are the only one who can make them real.

Now, of course, life does not always turn out the way we intend, often because of outside forces and actions. Some dreams are impossible - you will not sprout wings and soar above the earth, because as far as we know, that defies biology as we understand it. But many dreams are simply improbable - becoming President of the United States, for example. It is a highly coveted position with a slow turnover rate.

What is to keep you from trying, though? There is truth to the saying: "Shoot for the moon, and even if you miss, you will land among the stars." If you start on a road toward a dream with an open heart and mind, you never can predict what you will find along the way. Maybe your bright dream was actually a neon sign directing you to your true purpose or place in the world.

Having an open heart and mind is just as important as learning to overcome discouragement; the two go together. Don't let other people crush your dreams, and make sure not to do it to other people. Instead, when you meet people along the road, help them along their way, and welcome help when it is offered to you. While dreams may be unique to individuals, we are nothing if not social beings, and no dream can be sustained by one pair of hands.

If you have any doubt that dreams can be achieved, even in surprising ways, read The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch, or watch this Youtube video. Trust me, it is well worth your time. Be prepared to laugh, cry, and have your heart feel all funny. Whenever I doubt, I think of this man, and my fears disappear.


Have a beautiful day.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

A Borrowed Tale

  Below is a recollection of a fateful incident as told by my fellow Fulbrighter, Emily. You can find her blog about Nepal right here. She gave me permission to repost this, as I am a central figure in the story. It shows how even in small everyday actions, you can be someone's hero. Anyway, I hope that this story makes you laugh. Have a beautiful day!
 
On my third day in Nepal, I woke up to quite a surprise—a giant moth the size of a pine-cone was perched on the curtain near the door. It looked like an eggplant with wings. I am still not entirely convinced that it was a moth…

At dinner, Caitlin and I joked about the “moth.” We decided to give it a name. I flipped through my Nepali phrase book and selected one of the only words I could pronounce— rumahl; it means napkin.

Earlier that day I decided to put up a mosquito net around my bed due to my penny-sized ailments. There was only one problem—there was nothing to hang the net from. I had tried to put the net up the past two days and had failed. Due to my lack of ingenuity I decided to seek assistance—after all, it shouldn't take more than two Fulbright grantees to put up a mosquito net, right? Alanna came to my rescue. We systematically wove a clothesline across the room and secured the net with clothespins. We succeeded. I was delighted. No more bug bites for me.

Now it was evening, and we returned to our apartment after dinner. I went into the living room and ended up talking to Alanna and Elsie until 10:00 pm. We were really proud of ourselves for staying up so late—typically, we went to bed around 8:00 pm (if we could stay up that late) and many of us would wake up around 3 or 4 am— Oh, jet lag. Finally, I decided it was time for me to go to bed. We had training in the morning, and I needed to be prepared.

I was changing into my pajamas when I unexpectedly heard something—a strange flapping sound. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Napkin came zooming through the darkness and HIT ME IN THE FACE. Oh my gosh! I thought, this is my karma for calling a giant flying pine-cone “napkin.” I was terrified. Because Lisa was sleeping, I contained myself from screaming. I had a mosquito net, I would be safe from “Napkin” the giant “moth” right? I climbed into the net and tried to go to sleep….

Napkin would not stop fluttering its wings. The strange noise woke Lisa up. As Napkin banged itself into the walls searching for a light source, I told Lisa about how I had been hit in the face by the mysterious creature. Alanna soon came into our room wondering what was going on. Shortly after her arrival, Napkin disappeared somewhere. Everything was silent for a few minutes, and Alanna left. Lisa and I thought we could go to bed. WRONG. Almost immediately after Alanna left, Napkin returned. It violently hurled itself at the walls. Napkin decided to pay Lisa a visit in her bed. She hid under her blanket, knowing that she should not be afraid. Poor Lisa. Then, Napkin noticed a light fixture on the side of the wall. It flew towards the empty light fixture. Suddenly, Napkin was stuck inside!

One minute past….no sign of Napkin

Two minutes past…no sign of Napkin

Three minutes past…no sign of Napkin

After about five minutes we thought Napkin was dead.

Until it came thrashing out of the light fixture straight towards my bed. Thankfully I have a mosquito net, I thought as Napkin pounded at the sides of my net. Alanna heard my cries of distress and promptly returned. Right when she came back, Napkin mysteriously disappeared again.

One minute past….no sign of Napkin

Two minutes past…no sign of Napkin

Three minutes past…no sign of Napkin

After about five minutes we thought Napkin was dead.

First I thought it was just the blanket rubbing against me. Then I felt the soft tickling touch of thin twig-like legs crawling up my body. Napkin was back.

The creature itself.
To this day, I am yet to understand how Napkin managed to get inside my mosquito net that night. After some initial shrieks of terror and deep breaths, I managed to remove myself from my bed. Despite my immense discomfort, Napkin’s arrival inside my mosquito net was ultimately a good thing, because it ended up saving its life. Brave Alanna got an empty pitcher and captured Napkin inside, releasing it out into nature on the balcony. That was the last I saw of Napkin, the eggplant shaped flying thing. I have learned an important lesson from this ordeal, don’t name flying creatures that resemble pine-cones after the easiest word to pronounce in the Nepali dictionary, they will find you and make you pay.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Quick Post about a Long Story

http://www.buzzfeed.com/drewphilp/why-i-bought-a-house-in-detroit-for-500

Okay, this thing is long. It took me about twenty minutes to read it. But it brought unexpected tears to my eyes. So read it, and have a beautiful day.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Well, world, I'm back.

Sort of. I will actually be leaving for a family vacation on Saturday, which gives me very little time to post anything actually useful. However, I will try to make the most of my time.

For those of you perhaps stumbling upon this blog, its purpose is to remind us all that life is full of beautiful things that, if we seek them, will bring us much joy and purpose.

Today's beautiful thing will be found in the following article:
http://gawker.com/bill-gates-was-this-reddit-users-secret-santa-1486663792?utm_campaign=socialflow_gawker_facebook&utm_source=gawker_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow

It's a very short article, but it is guaranteed to make you smile. I give Bill Gates big props for supporting Heifer International. I first became aware of it when my cousins donated a goat to an African village on my family's behalf several Christmases ago. And speaking of goats, I just read a fascinating article (in a print magazine, or else I would post a link) about the huge effect that donated goats have in the lives of women living in small Nepalese villages. Not only do the animals provide important sources of protein and dairy in more isolated mountain regions, but by selling them, the women hope to raise their family's income from around $300 a year (on average) to over $1000.

Check out their website: http://www.heifer.org/

Have a beautiful evening!

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

I would just like to apologize...

I have been extremely busy ever since I got back to school for spring semester, and I am sorry that I have not posted in this blog at all. I will make a strong attempt to start writing again. In the meantime, enjoy this picture of a polar bear that I stumbled upon.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Why, Hello Again!

 Please forgive the fact that I disappeared for two whole weeks! I got back from my vacation a week ago, and I just kept forgetting to write after that. As a means of apology, can I treat you to a few pictures from my trip? I took over 200 pictures while I was there, but no amount could begin to convey how magical and amazing it was to step inside Harry's Wondrous World. If anyone is interested, I would be happy to tell some of my stories from my time there.
The entrance to Universal's Islands of Adventures
A view of Jurassic Park and Hogwarts



Beautiful Butterbeer!!!
Hogwarts!