Fun with Phobias

Bugs.

Bugs? Yes bugs. As you are probably aware, there are thousands of people who suffer from arachnophobia, or a crippling “fear” of spiders. I put fear in quotation marks not because I doubt its validity, but because I know that phobias are more complicated than simple fear and revulsion. Someone who is afraid of or repulsed by spiders may jump or curse or swing wildly with a newspaper (or all three) when they meet one of the eight-legged critters. Someone who suffers from true arachnophobia, though, might freeze, burst into tears, or have a full on panic attack. They might not be able to look at cartoon images of spiders, or even hear the name. There are hundreds of phobias out there, so let’s choose another example: heights. A lot of people have a healthy trepidation of high-up places. But maybe you have a friend who keeps far away from railings, trembles while crossing bridges, and called in sick for your birthday party at the indoor rock-climbing place.

The point I’m trying to get at is that phobias can cause symptoms that may inconvenience, embarrass, or even endanger those people who suffer from them. I’m not going to get into the science or psychology of what causes them, but the information is out there if you’re interested (you can start your reading here). Friends and family may suggest that their loved one “snap out of” or “get over” the phobia. It’s not that simple. I don’t even know if there are medicines to help. From the experts I’ve talked to, it seems that the two accepted treatments are exposure therapy and desensitization therapy, both of which make the patient confront their phobia: either quickly or in gradual doses.

I struggle with a few phobias. One was, very specifically, of Pennywise the Clown from the miniseries based on Stephen King’s IT. I’ll get to the story of why I say “was” in a little bit. Another is a pretty rough struggle with heights. Ladders, steep stairwells, bridges, railings in the mall, bicycles…anything that takes me more than a few inches off the ground is fair game (with the important exceptions of airplanes and roller coasters). Living in Nepal has been helping with this one immensely. The third is very random: centipedes. God, I hate that word. I’ll use the Nepali word, khajuro. More on this later.

My Pennywise phobia is a slowly fading memory, and credit for this goes to my senior year roommates. You see, I had reached the point where Pennywise was appearing regularly in my nightmares. I couldn’t see anything red and white out of the corner of my eye without my heart skipping a beat. And if I accidentally saw a picture on the internet? I’d end up in tears.

Now, no one can deny that Pennywise is a pretty freaky character: it’s a clown that eats children. A shapeshifting clown, that takes on the form of its victims worst fear, and then eats them. For some reason, the combined impression from the book and miniseries festered in my brain.

Well, one day, I asked my roommates for help. I’m a big fan of the Nostalgia Critic, and I knew he had a review of IT that was supposed to be pretty funny. So I asked my roommates to watch it with me, and to make sure that I didn’t close my eyes whenever it showed clips of the damn clown. And we did it, after they made sure I had a glass of wine. But they had a second part that they added to my plan. Both of them are fans of Rocky Horror Picture Show, which I had never seen. They surmised that if I watched Tim Curry dance around in dress, with good friends and good pizza, I could never be afraid of him in clown makeup again.

They were right.

Khajuro have been a harder to beat. For many years, I couldn’t even bear to read, speak, or hear their English name. I still don’t like it, but I’ve gotten past that particular hurdle. Until then, my roommates and friends would run interference for me: telling people not to say the word, closing tabs on my computer if a random article included a picture of one, and even making sure I didn’t look at picture of Dungons & Dragons monsters with too many legs. One of my roommates, a super-talented art major, even tried a form of art therapy with me one night when she really needed to be sleeping.

Seems pretty extreme, I know, but the precautions kept me from curling up into a silently weeping ball—something I had no control over. Not going to lie, but I definitely felt embarrassed by my reactions, and I felt even more bad because I perceived myself as a burden to my friends. Well, there’s a lot to be said about embarrassment and guilt, but this isn’t the time for discussing it. Just remember that the closer you get to conquering your phobia, the less you’ll experience those feelings.

There’s not an end to the khajuro story yet (just like the bug, it goes on and on and on...ugh). But there are lessons to be gained from it. In my experience, suffering from a phobia is a mental illness that benefits more than most from external influence. While depression, for example, is mainly an internal struggle, phobias are directly triggered from outside your mind. Maybe that’s why friendly support is so effective. It’s like telling your brain: “Hey, these people I love and trust aren’t freaking out. Why am I? Look how calm they are.” Over time, that idea builds up, and if you combine it with desensitization therapy, either with a professional or by yourself, you might find your phobia becoming less and less extreme.

A few final words of advice. If you suffer from a phobia of an animal or bug, knowledge is power. If you can’t bear to look at pictures or photographs of your phobia-foe (like me), did you know that you can turn off images on Google Chrome? That way, you can surf Wikipedia and the internet to your heart’s content. Also, talk to people who are experts about whatever you’re phobic of. The other day, while doing research on khajuro, I came across a great website dedicated to creepy-crawlies by a man who not only likes them, but who knows a lot about them (website is here). The website had a comment section, and I commented on an old article about an escaped giant khajuro. I was overjoyed when I got a kind response that included a link to an article about (guess what?) creepy-crawly phobias! (read it here)

So talk to experts, and talk to your friends and family. Explain phobias to them, and ask them for help if you think they can give it. Don’t forget to thank them. And if you find yourself on the path to recovery, make sure you reach out to people who are still struggling.

Feel free to contact me if you have any questions or need some advice. And remember, life is beautiful!